i'm home

already home.
confuse.. i won't miss you.
i promise to stay strong
to be happy with all i had now.
to not obey my rebelious head.
to be great on my own.
i won't miss you
I WON'T

worries

will iT ever be gone?

my luggage is out of hand, my celcom number is now blocked [again!] the thing with my life is not going so well, my oh-so great lovelife stuck in haywire..

the least i can do is try to ignore, and worry-not about everything

oh, i am so STRESSED!

forgot?

of course i didn't ignore you, my love.
i just happens to forget about you for a while
oh really? :#!
i love you forever and ever
i miss you
but i just don't need you right now.
i'm blissed
happily and merrily..

did i mention i love you yet?


*gile ke sewel ckp dgn blog? wahahaha.. whatever it is i still love you babe!


nk tempek lagu ni.. best~!


Agnes Monica – Teruskanlah
Pernahkah kau bicara
Tapi tak di dengar
Tak di anggap
Sama sekali

Pernahkan kau tak salah
Tapi disalahkan
Tak di beri
Kesempatan


Kuhidup dengan siapa
Ku tak tau kau siapa
Kau kekasihku tapi
Orang lain bagiku


Kau dengan dirimu saja
Kau dengan duniamu saja

Teruskan lah..
Teruskan lah
Kau begitu


Kau tak butuh diriku
Aku patung bagimu
Cinta bukan
Kebutuhan mu

make time go faster or stop here

i am totally disappointed with myself..
oh syaimaa' ahmad, can u force yourself to something better?

or perhaps just stay where u are now..

time, can you go faster? or just go back to where i have my heart back.

arghhh... stressed out suda~

happy 090909 everyone!

I've been gone like 2 days... anddd omg! my emails flooded with FB notifications.. nothing much, but just a bunch of sickkkk people love to play tag, run, n flood everybody's emails with junk!





*harsh*






I dunno why.. but I'm kind of fancy today's 090909 date.. it;s like a perfect series of number to remark something isn't it? well like, nk nikad time 010101 la, 020202 la.. or wat eva..



and despite to series of things that made me cranky all week long, I set an alarm on my phone.. 9th september 2009.. [something great is going to happen! be strong cemak~]



maybe i sound superstitious.. but we can have some space for dreams aren't we?


and lucky me me.. just a few minutes in 090909.. and i'm smiling again..
i'm no longer 'sick', my headache is gone, the cave sessions ended *grin*, well.. a perfect day to celebrate!

me: omg! i miss that
M.L: miss what?
me: that phrase u always mention
M.L: does that mean u miss me?
me: bwekk.. get a clue!

do i miss you? gawdddd.. i miss you too much! :X

lovesickness

Things had been getting out of hands this past two days. Nothing works out for me. I fell sick i mean like-sickening -SICK~ oh. well i must say my sleep schedule went haywire again. I woke up at 3 am morning feeling extremely dizzy and nauseous. I threw up at 10 after struggling to force myself back to bed. I dunno, something has been bothering me. But I can't tell what it is.

I talked to someone this morning, and again.. i found the conversation not very comforting. I got sick thinking on how men and women are weirdly different. And how their act to problems are also different, but yet we found ourselves, sticking and finding soulmate for ourselves. It's like two different poles attracting each other. I've been reading Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus only to find myself in greater confusion.

We want comfort and you want to pull away from us? and how would that work in a real-life relationship? I could only see myself in misery if I would have an uncaring husband who only think about how to make himself happy instead of saving the marriage.

One of my male collegue said to me.. " we guys, will just leave our partner [girl] for quite sometime, let her cry missing us. Then we go back to her." And he call that sweet. Oh well, i got nothing against this unique male policy. But surely no girl would want to handle that. It sounds pretty mean to me. I dunno. But I will totally respect that.

If that is what he wants, then i'm totally okay with it. But please dear, don't blame me if I wouldn't be seeking for you. I'm just giving you some space to breath. I understand how this space is important for you. So don't take me for granted just because of that.

oh.. i'm totally done with all these mushy stuff.

EmOtIOnAL~

emotional failure. I guess by now, i'm kind of lost. it's like you chasing me away. But i'm not going to assume anything. I'm waiting for you to speak out. I told you before. In fact, many times before. when we're done. then we're done forever. in a good way. we don't need the painful awkward break up session. No need of hurting each other. put a fullstop. and go.

but i'm still waiting

a confession

everything started out easy and happy
but it's getting weird and hard
so weird, that i couldn't picture of what's next
so hard, that i can't think of a perfect ending to this

i miss you
i miss the laughter of stupid jokes that we shared
i miss the i-would-not-mind- waiting- you- to-finish- your- work
and i miss everything about not knowing your thoughts

the not talking but always know the right message
it works like magic

i love the way you work hard for your future
the forever great news you told me
about you
about the life you lead

i couldn't be happy more
and i would always be happy for you

but now i'm not sure what happening between us
remember that i told you that i will always be there for you?

i'm sorry
i'm not chasing you away from me
you don't know how it rages inside me
to see you that far
and not being able to be at times of need

i can't afford the pain anymore
i am not willing to sacrifice this friendship for what i feel.
what will be will be
only God knows that

all i know is i need to be apart from you
cause what hurt the most is being so close
but yet too far away.

i'll miss you forever, friend~

bags in need!

I totally need bags. peh... ayat shopaholic sggh! but my purse is so desperate. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghh..

okayy.. the reason i need big bags is so that i can stuff all my things books, pencil case, purse, keys, evrything! to college. I don't really have a proper bag for going to class purposes. Well, in Egypt.. it is so pricey for a branded bag, and those Sayyeda streets' bags can only hold together for about a week! such a waste! seminggu satu bag, wah macam promo iklan~

anywayss, I've been looking online for a perfect bag, and then... WALLaah~!

esprit sling bag! big, sporty and RED.. totally fab.. i dunno why i found red is quite a charm to my eyes these days. Yikess.. so shantekkk.. btw i found this in Esprit.co.UK... UK guys~ i wonder if it's available here. i'm really itching for one...

hot nyer~

this one is also esprit's, leather.. so i bet it's easy to be cleaned.. well u noe, egypt is a wonderland of dust! not as chic as the above, but this one look more..... uhmmm, i dunno, durable?

or maybe i should get this in brown?

this colour looks more egypt ish style.. padang pasir, indiana jones, traveller,piramid, got the picture?

good!

now, how do i get rm500 in a week? any ideas?

*p/s: i noe mom would approve this, she is btw, suggesting me to buy a branded bag right away before i fly last year, so that i would not end up buying new cikai bags monthly or in my case weekly, one good bag is all i need.

insomnia?

it's 3 am and i'm still AWAKE!! for god sake... not sleepy is not cool ok? especially at this moment of the hour. I dunno wat i'm thinking. gosh.. i guess i'm still troubled by last night thingy and got all miserable till today. I dun get it tho, i'm an easily merajuk type of girl but it'll fade away in just minutes. kdg2 xpyh pujuk, i'll pujuk diri sendiri k.. but this had gone beyond my due.

But sometimes i just crave for attention, tho i barely got it totally understood! coax me or leave me to comfort myself.. Some guys wafi, to be exact said girls are so troublesome. I couldn't agree more. We are leceh in particular. Sometime we don't even know what we want. Guys who are able to tell and bare with whiney girls are awesomely cool, u know! hopefully my future Mr. is a superduper cool, ssh lah klau asek merajuk kann? sighs~

and oh.. someoneramai actually asked whether i'm in a relationship or not right now due to my *craps posting before, i wouldn't say a word. but if a YES would put you guys to silent mode, then please read my answer as YES. but i rather put it in a it's complicated status..



oh godddd~these are the moments of time where i feel my life in haywire. stop asking, cause i'll refute. u know me~ lol

i miss old times.. remember 1234? it's been a while.. time, time, time

moody

sorry but i don't have a pleasant attitude today
i guess i woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

i slept with a pissed off mood last night
and i think i still keep a bit of that tantrum.

maybe it's not your fault
maybe it's mine
maybe it's no one to be blamed

i guess i'm just tired
i noe i say i'm okay with evrything
but sometimes i'm not

sorry for that



and i'm having doubts now, who am i to you anyway?

i CAN'T see!!

i lost my glasses. I slept before isya' , early today. I woke up feeling dizzy n all mess up. Then i went looking for it. X JUMPE!.. ouh.. saketnyer hati..

It must had got into the piles of laundry. Not below the bed. Not under my bedsheet. It's no where to be found. Sudahla my glasses tu frameless yg jenis halus tu. sumpah ssh nk cari.

Thank God, I still keep my old pair of glasses. Dgn condition mata saya now, mmg x nampak apapa.. arghhh.... macam mn nk drive nnt. Nk buat baru mesti amek seminggu.

dahla syg sgt yg lame tu. Tahan lasak. frame tu plak sgt mahal. I think i'm losing my mind now. ouh!!

esok kena buat baru. T__T! oh wait... mcm mn nak drive?

I ♥ shoes

I mean who doesn't? a girl's bestfriend is shoes, shoes, and shoes..well besides diamonds lol~ I really really hearts high heels, but seriously painful. I still can't understand how people can walk and shopping for hours in those killing high heels. I can tolerate wedges but stilettos? oh my gosh~

btw, I bought black strappy high heels 5 inches kottt~ for MEP Grand dinner. 4 hours of walking here and there was an easy task. tho, sungguh berhatihati when i was required to go on the stage.. kalau jatuh malu kott~ aiiish Thank God nothing happened and I'm fine. i am soooo proud of myself~ *clapclap.

Now that i know i'm capable of wearing those dearie dearie beautiful heels. I can't resist myself from wanting more heels.

Of course my mum won't approve this. bazir je, I would be running on my sneakers anyway in Egypt. dah beli kang stack kat tepi almari je. plus i'm too young for heels AND to have too much shoes ryte?

So i need an excuse to buy one, let say another dinner? A glamourous function? but ughh.. there is no such thing for now.. aaaahhhh.. I WANT HEELS~!!!

these shoes look so sexy isn't it?

ahhh i wanttttt

source

gambar dri blogger ini.. i love her collections of shoes. awe~ saya juga mahu

but, just wondering... won't it be funny if ur hubby is shorter than u just because u walk on heels? heh, cari hubby yg tinggi than u lah solution nye ye x?

oh saya rasa...

-amaran! entri ini mungkin mengundang perasaan loya dan muak. Sila beredar jika mahu puasa anda tidak batal. POST MENGARUT DAN PANJANG MELAMPAU-
klau agak2 xsuke sile out~

***

Ada orang tegur sy. I mean dressing n stuff. Entahla, kdg2 terasa agak tension. Iman mmg naik turun kan? Kadang2 rasa mcm nk campak je jeans dgn blouse2 favourite tu. Pakai je baju kurung dgn jubah. Tp kadang2 sy rasa agak leceh. Sy suka nk cepat je. Capai je apapa yg senang. Maybe betul status sy dgn penampilan sy kurang matching.

"wah, rocknya" "eh, ex kisas~" normal lah tu.. lintas je telinga. Tapi kadang2 saya rasa x selesa.

Bkn tanak, tapi sy rs xde lah teruk sgt pon dressing sy. jeans pon bkn pakai dgn t-shirts pendek2 tu.. Silalah selongkar wardrobe sy, mana nak jumpa t-shirt cam tu. Ada pon blouse2 je. Haih. Sy mmg nk berubah, sket2 lah. Tp kadang2 susah. entahla, boleh cakap yg saya nk bagi alasan je. Bkn sy x cuba. Doakn. sy pon xmahu stay tahap ni je. Nk baiki diri. Tolonglah sy. Jgn condemn. tolong.

Cerekarama Bkn Bidadari tu, mcm a hit on my head. Sy nk suami yg membimbing sy. Lembutkn hati. Bawak ke jalan yg benar. Nk buat apa harta bergunung-gunung, setakat nk hidup? InsyaAllah gaji sy cukup utk makanpakai dan hidup selesa. Paras segak? Bila tua, x berguna jgk sume tu. Sy nk yg berilmu agama. Boleh jd imam solat. Setakat masalah fiqh rumahtgg sket2 boleh ditny. Boleh dibwk berunding. Faham hukum hakam.

Seorang ayah yg boleh bentuk bakal anak2 sy. Kalau boleh ada seorang hafiz dalam keluarga. Bahagia kerana acuan agama. Td masa tgh drive, mmg ad sket perangai kurang sabar baran . pastu ckp kat my sis kat sebelah, "mesti xde yg nk kawen ngn along kan? dh la x baik mcm ni. boleh plak marah2 tgh drive, bajet gangster jalanraya" padahal tgh puasa, Astagfirullah

Setiap hari, sy rs mcm ditempelak.. "kau x baik, kau x solehah. Tak mungkin dpt yg beragama"
kadang2 sedih. Berdoa. Semoga ada seseorang utk bwk sy ke jalanNya. Sambil sy sedang membaiki diri. Jalan tu kan bnyk. Bkn tggu someone je dtg bwk. Bwk diri sendiri. Mungkin ssh nk berubah, tp asek nk tggu org cakap. Ambil kisah sgt apa org fikir, boleh jd tak betul. Moga sy kuat dan tabah.


ouh.. mlm ni saya rasa sungguh rendah dan hina. Ya Allah. Ampunkan aku, aku hanya ingin menjadi hamba Mu yg taat dan beriman. Bantulah aku Ya ALLAH. amin

cupcake vs. triffle

bila org x reti bakar kek nk bakar kek maka buruk lah padahnya>>>

kek jadi overmanis.. plus hodoh sgt rupanya.. sedih tol memandang.. x sanggup nk upload~

sudahnya.. jadilah cupcake-cupcake ku itu base triffle aku~

alahai... janji boleh makan, sedap lak tu triffle nih... maw recipe?

wahahahah~




triffle ialah lapisan kek, puding kastard, buah2an dan jeli strawberry.. dpt recipe dr akak senior kat mesir.. sangat sedaplah~





btw, maafkn foto yg buruk ini ye.. cameraphone je pon..





klah, nk gi terawikh jom~

mom's little project

So, my mom kind of re-using her sewing machine. Last time i saw her using it was, 2 years ago.. for the curtains.. she was a bit on and off in a few stuff. I can see where i got the do-it-when-i-feel-like-doing attitude.

She started sewing my sister's baju kurung which she just learnt a few weeks before, and now she's on something else. TUDUNG a.k.a scarfs

I dunno when it started, but when i got back from Egypt, my mother and all my sisters were not on their usual tudung anymore. They wear i called those - tudung indon. I'm a bit sceptical before, yela.. tudung indon ryte? not-so-hot and up-to-date or wat eva but when i started wearing it, I think it's very convenient, plus it's a comfy too.. dah tak payah spend lame2 depan cermin, sarung n ready to go.. gorgeous!

The best part is the material is easy to iron, and if you take good care of it. iron sekali dah cukup, wah senang hidup aku!

My mom said, it'a hot stuff now,everyone is trying out Ariani's scarfs, oh well.. not to the youth i can see.. sume gile pakai selendang now...but like in Egypt i've seen those selendang wore by egyptians peeps.. so i xde la awe sangat.. biasebiase je.. i wear selendang too, but someone *hearts said i'm much cuter in tudung labuh (which is my mom's btw) made my like tersipu-sipu kejap. teguran bahasa halus tu.. menegur me to start wearing tudung labuh-labuh.. aiii... i'll try lah k?

bknnye ssh pon. I'm the kind like pakai je apapepon janji tutup aurat n tak selekeh type of girl. So, i CAN make an effort to wear those tudung k..

ughh... pnjgnye intro explainations, nk cte sal tudung je pon. Anyways, my mom jahit tudung2 ni. and I think it's cute!! I LYKEE LAH MOMMY... mcm pro duhh my mom.. i think better than Ariani's.. plus.. it don't cost me a bomb. Lgpon mama jahit penuh kasih sayang kan? kan? cess.. bodek mahu more tudungss.. gagaga~

I think i'll stock up more of these in diff shades.. hahah.. medic student xde mase nk jage tudung kemek kena tiup angin ke, nk iron2 ke kan? what do u think, okayy?

dulu suke selendang.. style..but not convenient..atleast not to me.

***

remember my motto, sarung n go!

oh i feel extra-sweet wearing these *perasan dush!

comel x comel x? tudunglah not me

my mom.. and that is not my little brother.

ohh.. mommy i want more.. -"jahit sendiri".. auhh *sigh~

so encik, how do you find my new tudung style. menepati spesifikasi? or not?

** just so you know, i did not photoshop my face. The super flawless skin is actually due to my bedroom's light and oh, my skin is inevitably flawless lah kan jgn jeles~ :P

jom bake cupcake ptg ni.. yeay! want some?

i feel low

When i got back from KL, i knew that i'm back to my normal-seriously-freaking-boring-routine.

I had enough of surfing the internet, enough of TV, enough of the sight of my takkemas room. The stack of anatomy and physiology books is never, never, ever going to look interesting to me. bosan k!

oh how i wish i had something to do. tho, actually i DO had something to do. Marmaladetech- My lappy needs to be upgraded, eye-checkup, i need new glasses, loads of shopping to take care of. and ughh.. my hsbc account. I hate those peeps! i'm thinking of closing that account. i hate lousy management. i hate chaos due to teeny meeny probs. I hate. I hate. i hate it

but i think all those can wait. until? unknown

nak jalanjalan. If only i had a few friends here. sumpah x letak kat rumah da.. out, out and away

I WISH U WERE HERE.i miss u already


i think i'm losing it. Talking to a laptop? yeah.. BOSAN SANGAT DAH LA NII

fobia

oh fobia nk menulis kat blog ni lagi, tho sudah ditukakn alamat.. mmg scary weyh.. i noe.. i'm a bit selamber.. mula ingat mmglah ak x amek kesa pon sesape nk baca, but when mamababa start reading it, then my PK HEM too.. then my housemates..then my musuh dalam selimut.. seryesly x selesa okayy..

blog ak bknlah ala2 islamik or ilmiah or apepe jela u expect from a X-kisasian kan.. ikut sukelah k?

now i'm hiding it a bit.. ish.. marabahaya...

mmg, xde org tgglkn komen. ramai gile kot baca plus, siap ad stalker lg.. ntah pape.. adoy.. sshny nk jd diri sendiri..

bencilah kan...

tape.. yg dh jumpe blog ini... tahniah anda bukan stalker. Tolong jgn jadikan diri anda stalker juge.. terimalah post2 ngarut2 saya seada.. kan saya syaimaa ahmad yg anda kenal.. nk macam mn lg? tell me-lah


apepepon saya tetap nk maintain cute n sweet.. *perasan

home

just got back from KL

exhausted

had an awesome weekend with miss nuha n kautsar dear

n

i met baby zara

comel~

nanan n shasha

comel mcm auntie nuha LoL

not in the mood to write anything

so.. nnt2lah k.

@ kisas cluster... dah warna warni skang~

midvalley ngn cik kiah. gathering exkisas

kautsar @ malam kebudayaan

and btw, i'm changing my blog address soon. syaimaahmad.blogspot will remain as my official page, but all my personal updates will not be here anymore. no worries. u all will be informed via YM.. i am in no intention to publicitize my life anymore. oh saya sungguh poyo. terimakasih

=)

All Is Forgiven

for the sake of my jolly happy mood

i will =) for u now..

happy?

yes

`

`

first time masak lunch full-course arini.. selalunye gile malas.. makan je rajin.. hehe.. since my mom nk menjahit-jahit, so terpaksa buwat-buwat rajin masuk dapur, wakaka~

ok before u guys kutuks me for being pemalas, it's normal lah k, dah setaun masak sendiri nk gak mkn masakan mama ryte? xcaye? sudah..

`

so, menunye.. tomyam, telur bistik, kangkung goreng belacan,ayam goreng tiram

drooling? you bet! sedap LoL...

`

petang ni nk beli tiket utk esk.. i'm not really thrill about this trip, sbb i'm all alone =((

xpe..xpe.. for the sake of you..my dear, kautsar.. i'm wiling to do anything..

`

the rest of the plan is still unknown, oh well~

but here's a sneak of it..

• Friday= Nuha will pick me up, and we'll go to OU then kautsar's place
• saturday= Reunion 502 MIDval, of course i'll lari somewhere else, takkan nk nyeboks lak kan?
• Sunday= Thinking of visiting Cemara, program motivasi MEP.. shud i go? hermm~
• Monday= KISAS! nk ajak madh lah pegi.. segan deh, Rai nk ajak gi KMB.. blur2, nk pegi xnk?
• Tuesday= Balik!

asal x rase excited lak ni? pray for my safe journey..

till then..

PICNIKing~

i can see, the future..

the freaking 2nd year..

i was reading a page [only A page] from Head & Neck

and

already i'm distracted by PICNIK

ough.

Syaimaa Ahmad..

think straight! focus.. focus

my God, I can't believe I'm a medic student...

Map of The Problematique

Fear
And the panic in the air
I want to be free
From desolation and despair
`
And I feel
Like everything I saw
Is been swept away
Well I refuse to let you go
I can't get it right
Get it right
Since I met you
`
Loneliness be over
When will this loneliness be over?
`
LifeWill flash before my eyes
So scattered and lost
I want to touch the other side
And no one
Thinks they are to blame
Why can't we see
When we bleed we bleed the same?
`
I can't get it right
Get it right
Since I met you
`

Loneliness be over
When will this Loneliness be over?
Loneliness be over
When will this Loneliness be over?
-muse-

i'm trying to reason everything, but it doesn't feel right. May I be excused to quest for myself and the reason behind all this?
cause i don't think this is comforting anymore.
cause i can't see the need for me to stand for you, while you're trying to mess it all around..
...
i can't get it right
fin

H.U

yes

`

life is sweet

`

`

but

`

`

unfortunately

YOU'RE NOT

`

`

`

`

`

`

sorry to say that

~

`

`

blergh, you make me sick

again

`

get off my mind!

=(

recover

my brain just work extremely well

when I push my emotions away..

my bluebird just recovered yesterday.. and tho i noe i said i would never drive again.. but that bluebird seems to be just like mine already.. wakakaka.. so, wut evvs..

terlanggar dinding garage td.. naseb baik kena bumper sket je.. x calar.. kalau mama tahu ni...I"M DONE!

heart=hurt

I'm fasting today.. my gastritis just subsides and i'm able to ganti my puasa Ramadan due to my gastritis attack last year.. alhamdulillah.. i hope i'm able to fast without any problem this year..

I'm not feeling well these two days.. my eyes just itch and it's turning reddish plus swollen a bit.. and not to mention severe mood swings, huh~ is it possible that my eye soreness kinda affects my mood?

I was actually planning to visit KISAS this weekend and meet Kautsar and the whole clans. It seems so vague right now.. i don't know how and when anymore. Now that I'm having unsteady mental condition, i know i can't promise much to them. Well, i guess as time pass by, you won't be able to be a "gang" anymore.. you just need to live on, and leave all the happy jolly times of your past behind. I think that's my parents' message to me. You just don't get to be teen when you're a young adult, so stop rebelling your heart out.

This is what i can't accept for the moment. I hate LOST more than anything. I made a promise to Kautsar and Hani back when we're student. Remember that we said, we will hang out together even if we're married? and our children will play together while we chat and chat?

Forget the married state.. I'm not even engaged and we still facing hard times meeting each other. We're constantly busy as students and our life doesn't revolve around our perfect happy world anymore. But i guess, we can't measure friendship with distance. And distance will always make our hearts grow fonder. i heart u babes!

****

these moodswings are playing harsh on me. I won't get out of the room. Filling the silence gap by reading "Breaking Dawn" and all the Harry Potter series..

I feel so sick, of reading, surfing, sleeping.. as much as i want to have a break from medic-student-life, there's a part of me aching to get back to Cairo as soon as i can. But a small, dominant part of me prefered to stay, regardless of how bored i am being home.

i-am-losing-my-sanity-due-to-severe-massive-boredom!

oh adekku~

i was looking through the folders in my pc to clean up, then i found my lil bro's stuff.. okay..it's immoral to peek his files but i'm curious okayy~.. guess what i found? His essay to MISC..and please take note that my brother applied for the scholarship.. lets read together..
and u are excused to laugh as much as u can.. cause u noe i did..LOL!

WHY I WANT TO BE A SHIP CAPTAIN

[IF I SUCCEED THE INTERVIEW]

"I want to be a Ship Captain when I grow up because its a fun job and easy to do. Captains don't need much school education;yeah right~ captain butahuruf mmg sgt2 diperlukan sekarang they just have to learn numbers so they can read instruments.

`

`

I guess they should be able to read maps so they won't get lost. oh i see.. read maps atas laut ek?? Captains should be brave so they won't be scared if its foggy and they can't see; or if the propeller falls off they should stay calm so they know what to do. Captains have to have eyes to seethrough the clouds tgk cloud buat ape? cari bintang la adek oiii and they can't be afraid of thunder or lightning because they are closer to them than we are.gelakgelakgelak

`

`

The salary that Captains make is another thing I like.i knew it! mateduitan!!!! They make more money more than they can spend. This is because most people think handling ships is dangerous, except captains, because they know how easy it is. oh yeah! mmg easy sangat~

`

There isn't much I don't like, except girls like captains and all the girls want to marry a captain so they always have to chase them away so they won't bother them.bajet hot stuff ea?? mak aii.. kejar hotchicks~

`

I hope I don't get sea sick because I get car sick and if I get sea sick, Icould not be a Captain and then I would have problem to go out and work." oh yes! i think you're in big problem now!

`

`

now i'm really.. really REALLY curious on how he got through the selection..adeh wat malu i jek.. oh, mmg nk kene cepuk bdk sekor nih T__T!

dream on

I'm sittin' here all by myself

just tryin' to think of something to do

Tryin' to think of something, anything

just to keep me from thinking of you

But you know it's not working out'

cause you're all that's on my mind

One thought of you is all it takes

to leave the rest of the world behind

`

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did

And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did

And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did

And you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did

`

I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself

that you're not the one for me

But the more I think, the less I believe it

and the more I want you here with me

~

ohWell I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did

And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did

And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did

And you didn't mean to love me back

`

I know it's not the smartest thing to do

we just can't seem to get it right

But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight (one more chance tonight)

`

I'm sittin' here tryin' to entertain myself with this old guitar

But with all my inspiration gone it's not gettin' me very far

I look around my room and everything

I see reminds me of you

`

Oh please, baby won't you take my hand

we've got nothing left to prove

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did

And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did

And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did

And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did

`

lonely september- plain white t's-

and now what?...

Kahwin tu bukan Nikah je

20 mins before lightoff kat bilik ak ni.. saje nak ngade2 post tajuk hotstuff.. keh3.. tiru macam sein~



semalam masa lunch kat Anjung Keli, kawan baba dtg n sembang2 le.. alah.. random stuffs.. pastu tetiba dy terpandang me..

"ini, anak sulung yg kat mesir tu ke?"

"ya, yang nilaah"

"wah, umur brapa ni?"

me at this moment like tersengih-sengih mcm maniac

"20"

wah, sedap je baba round off umur ak camtu ek

*batuk*

"kalau zaman pakcik dulu, 20 dh ada anak sorang"

sengih but this time plus tersedak

tensen jadi anak pompuan sulung ni.. tak abes-abes isu.. kawen awal.. of course la mama jeling je.. pergh.. nk maut ke kawen time blaja.. my dad mcm no hal je.. well, the fact that my dad is azharian, quite a bit changes his POV on early marriage. But, we talked about this long before i went to Egypt and the overall decision was to say YES, only if someone "berjenis" come to propose.. ah, jgn tny ak, ape dia berjenis tu pon mama je yg tawu.. hik3

adoii.. asek2 cerita kawen.. later lah kayh? dh umur 24 ke ak cari lah..klau mama tny dah ad sesape ke? nk jawab ape.. standard jawapan Anak-Anak Perempuan Gemilang Terbilang Cemerlang Kebangsaan >> "TAKDA, MA"

betollah tu xde.. ingat senang nk cari calon.. kang kene lecture plak pasal calon suami idaman malaya ngn baba kang tak ke haru.. uish.. malas tol lah.. i'm only 19.. marriage is situated looooooooooooooooowww in my to-do list.. what's the point? dah la klau kawen time blaja x grand kan? yela.. nnt dah.keje and de duit sket.. MR. pon da ade keje tetap.. bleh la wat havoc sket.. *blink* blink~

tho, i'm thinking of changing my status 3rd year nnt? how about that ma, ba? hahaha.. wohoho.. bahayebahaye... kene kejar satu kampung ak nnt~

oh, ye.. baba kate my MR. kene boleh jadi imam+bilal+qari.. and mama kate..keje mesti stable+cash+car+lovable.. mr bro kate mesti handsome+adorable+gilebola.. my sis kate handsome, klau x tanak ngaku in law.. .. mcm ni ak kena kawen Edward Cullen versi islamik lah kot..

AND.. i say.. saye nk wedding ring macam ni.... bleh ke mr hubby-to-be? [ntah sape pon i dunno lagi..SS sudah~]

ala.. kawen kan seumur hidup sekali je.. sila kumpul duit dari sekarang ye

it feels like forever

but it's not. and how am i going to handle that? *sigh

nasib baik tak...

pagi td fon rumah bnyi time tgh ralit on9, mula2 ingt malas nk angkat.. tp dy asek bnyi x henti2.. tensen gak.. so berlari-lari turun bawah.. ntah macam mana tersalah langkah.. jatuh kat tangga T-T.. lebam kaki..

bkn first time jatuh kat sana sini.. masa kat mesir dulu, tgh cuci baju.. ntah macam mn paip drain washing machine tu terbukak.. abes air sabun melimpah dlm bilik air.. dah kelam kabut takut air masuk bedroom.. terus lari nk pasang balik.. apalagi, tergelincir kat situ, siap terhentak pinggang kat bath tub lg.. lebam.. T-T

pastu ingt lagi rai cakap.. naseb baik x pregnant. T_T~! adoiii clumsy sungguh Cik Syaimaa' ni..

deadly in love

love is differences

to truly love someone means to understand this

to be loved by someone means to respect this

~sometimes i feel like an idiot waiting and wanting for u, somet ime i would feel glad just to have u,sometimes i feel like u are my future, never past, but sometimes it was entirely foolish to even dream about it.. i don't know what tomorrow holds for us.. for far or near.. i'm just glad that u're here now.i luv u~

***

oh crap, jiwang.. i think i'm falling in love with these.. yes,yes, love at first sight.. cakap sajalah kau gila pink stuff kan senang..

yg tengah niiii


mcm fon arda kn? haha.. dear, i always adore ur fon lah darling

yg paling kewl-nyer.. check this out

"You just simply end the call or snooze it with a wave of your hand over the screen!!!"


awe! yela i know.. these was like stone age pny models kan.. tp i don't care.. pink is sweet.. forget about touchscreens and iphones.. nnt bile aku kaya aku beli lah sepuluh ke kan? the best thing is it's scratch-proof.. thank God.. that's all i need to hear.. with a clumsy owner like me, God knows what can happen to you.. tho i'm fragile..lalallaa phone lame i pon like retak sane sini.. ganaz kott.. takpe2 t707 when i got my hands on u, i belai2 u k? jangan takoot~ heee~

i wonder how much it'll cost me? hurm

today

Tatahu nk update ape.. agaknya dh gian mengupdate... hari2 mesti maw update jg.. i got my upax number today.. senang sket kan? ntah ape yg senang ntah..senang nk gayut kot.. LoL

So, i'm planning to get a new phone.. masa mula2 ckp kat mama, dlm kete.. dy tny nk g mana ni?.. selamba je ckp.. "beli phone~" and she was like.. WHAT??!! and i go hehehe~ :P
mmg la the main idea was to have 2 phones.. one for my etisalat number i mean in egypt and the other one is for my celcom number.. nnt phone rosak klau asek tukar2 sim.. lg plk, it's easier nk contact malaysia, just msg me and i'll call u back.. simple kan?

Tp ssb dh terbiasa duduk mesir and all the decision i don't discuss with anyone, my sudden plan to get a new phone made my mom terjegil kejap.. and yes.. she don't even know how much cash i brought back from Egypt.. pasti kena WHAT??!! lagi kan? hehehe~

Siap2 pakai baju my mom pass kunci kete, i tgk buat2 dunno je..

"nah!"

"nape ma?"

"u drive.."

"eii.. tanak.. tanak"

For some uncertain reasons i found driving isn't fun anymore.. tggu lah, bile dh beli kete sendiri.. nk hentam divider 40x pon xde hal.. IT'S MINE! malas nk bwk da.. grand livina pny lah sedap nk drive.. smooth je.. pgg sebelah tgn pon still bleh steer.. tp SAYA MERAJUK DAN BOIKOT DRIVING SELAMA 6 TAHUN. SEKIAN

Ok ok, back the the phone.. sekarang problem nye.. i don't know, which one to buy.. iphone is sooooooo tempting.. but it's too pricey and i don't think a student like me is qualified for that.. tggu jd DR nnt baru mahu act kayakayan ok? aduh, sume phone x cantik, and x memikat mcm iphone.. N97 pon ssh nk jaga and handle.. so tataw nk beli ape.. i wish my lil bro is here. Dy paling pakar klau bab gadgets nih.. tgk la esk macam mn..

***

btw a friend of mine is in les miserables.. i dunno what's his problem is.. it's normal tho, for a guy to keep what ever problem they had.. but sometimes it makes me sad.. no matter what i do, i can't lift the burden away from you.. being supportive is never great. entahlah.. maybe i'm over sensitive.. and it's normal too for a friend especially girl, sbb mereka ini overprotective of friend to act like they care.. but it may spark fire..miscommunication akn selalu berlaku.. susah la kn? I could not be thankful enough for the book that i read.. baru dpt faham.. and i never fight until today..cess berlagak, baru brape bulan.. ha-ha-ha siap boleh tny lg npe kite x penah gaduh ek?

to Mr Friend-of-mine ----->>

to every problem there is a way out.. so, hopefully you'll get over of what you had.. and be strong and happy!

sedih okayy

tak tahulah, kenapa nk sedih sngt
planning sume hancur berkecai
tetiba terpandang countdown kt sebelah ni
1 month 4 weeks left

tup, tup, dh nk ramadhan
then raya.. pastu balik
to my lonely house kat sayeda zainab tu..
Beit Iffah

nama rumah tu pon dh bleh wat i nanges..
4 org cadangkn.. tp yg tinggal, i sorg je dlm tu nnt
rasa nk tukar..
entahlah.. nnt nk tny future residents..

bilik bersepah
buku head and neck x baca lagi
tadi ad someone tego tny pasal coronary circulation
the fact that i kena buka balik buku
buatkan i feel like bakal doktor yg amat hampeh

entahlah, sume x kena
bnyk kot keje blom settle

eye check up blom buat..
n for no reason
mata dah bengkak n makin sepet
plus irritated sket..
hsbc pny account blom kemas kini
insurance, card yg kena blocked
list barang utk junior x siap
laptop blom bawak kedai utk upgrade

barang nak bawak balik sana blom cari lg
undone hair cut
muqarror cuti yg tergendala
langkawi trip..
gile jeles tgk yen mad ngn fizi
rs nk lempang je.. tolong la jgn show off FIMA pny pic.
jeles to the MAX
arghhh

dua tiga ari ni asek nk cari modal je buat gaduh
dah la super ramai org buzz2 kat ym
mmg i adore u all
tp
kdg2 ad sket rasa sesak
lagi plk time2 x ok ngn mr. x
ade plak menambah spice and pepper
lagi panas hati

entahlah..
terasa sesak
sedih kot
i wonder y patut jd macam ni

super sedih
:(
:(
:(

random

it rains again today.. rainy day always make me feel a bit cranky +plus sleepy all day.. supposed i'm planning something for his b'day.. dunno lah.. hope he's not as cranky as i am today.. dulu masa bday arda pon i'm pretty upset..seriously Syaimaa, u shud stop making this attitude on someone's best day.. rosak majlis saje.. sorry dear T-T! i tak tahu nk buat mcm mn dah


i wonder why all my plans went loco.. like i want to revise next year's subject.. but i waited 3 weeks to shop for notebooks and all.. i noe.. i noe.. lousy2~ excuses.

Second year is gonna be challenging.. i got a lot to prove to my profs but instead of studying now, i go lepak all day long.. dunno what went wrong, this super malas mode is not going to take me anywhere.. nk beli hair brush pon kirim dkt my sis yg kuar td.. lazy bum tol!

one thing for sure I'm not malas when it comes to shopping, pusing satu midvalley pon bertenaga.. mmg typical girl seriously, shopping lift my mood.. i feel extremely happy.. best therapy? yes YOU ARE SO DAMN RIGHT!!~ but after the shopping, you might regret a bit.. but you always2 tell yourself.. this is an investment.. lalala~ this is sooo ayat rebecca bloomwood, oh no, aku shopaholics kah?

well, i got myself a santa barbara polo & racquet club wedges ... their stilettoes are nice.. tp superb punya saket kaki, beauty is pain? whatever~, H&M cardigan, voir black slack tousers.. (this one i'm pretty vague of why i bought one.. it's not like i'm going for an interview or what so ever..ish3) toms girl shirts.. oh-this-list-is-not-going-to-end.. seganlah..so,let's stop! gila best dpt round2 kedai.. but happy times are over.
Now i'm just flipping magazines on my bed, hoping some cash would drop from the roof and a brand new car i might add..patah kaki nk jalan2~T-T!


**bile lah nk dpt lesen dr mama nk drive? hmmm.. rindu driving alone.. and the mogok continues

tale of pacat n langsat

Just when i said, i haven't jejak tanah for like a week.. my mom kinda force me to go out for fresh air.. destination? my dad's dusun... ergghhh.. and u noe, it rained last two days.. it was superduper wet.. and slippery.. (my dad's dusun is at wang tepus, which is like bukit-bukit..)

i fell 4 time and got mud all over my shirt and pant.. a week of no tanah huh? u got it all over the body now.. ha -ha -ha

My cousin climbed to get the Duku and i was the one picking them falling (read; raining) from the tree.. i can't hardly count how many Duku fell onto my head.. that little rascal~! eisshhh.. sakit taw x!! i guess i'm no hutan material.. i wish u cud see my mom hiking all the way up and into the scary bushes well.. pacat are scary, aren't they? yg penting i takut okayhh kejam punya blood sucker.. klau edward si vampire i wudn't mind lah~ LoL

While my mom do the hiking and picking up langsat and duku, i went on babbling about how it is easy to just buy them at the market and yada yada yadaaa i think my mom had fun doing so, that she just ignored me.. maw kene penampar sulung klau asek bebel-bebel time org letih nih..

Well, in the end of the day, i got bruised leg from falling into the bushes, a cut at my foot, several mosquito bites.. and a-not-looking-good arm of scratches.. and not to mention.. my manicured and polished nails... wahahaha.. penat jaga tgn.. last2 calar-balar gak masuk hutan..amek ko

here are some piccas.. forgive me for the not-so-brilliant pics.. hell0~ sape nk bwk dslr masuk hutan kan? tho ak xde pon camera alah tu.. nokia cikai ada.. lalala

okayy.. gmbr pembukaan yg burokss.. wat evs

see that? that's my cousin up the tree.. n my sis

who say m'sia is not a beauty? i curse u!

when a future doc climbs a tree, who dare to say.. it's dangerous? lalala



ulin nuha is scared of whatever behind the bushes.. me too lah darling



taking a grand livina into the dusun is sooo not a great idea.. and my supercool dad drived it like it is on highway.. let's get a Navara la baba..


adios~

***

*lari topic jap.. long distance relationship is really hard, no? i noe..it's been like 5 months only but until now we never fight, why start now? ish.. i noe ur tensed but forgive me.. i dunno wut to do.. y don't u tell me?

and mr Leo.. happy birthday.. too bad i can't give u anymore surprises.. just a plain tulus wishes..