worries

will iT ever be gone?

my luggage is out of hand, my celcom number is now blocked [again!] the thing with my life is not going so well, my oh-so great lovelife stuck in haywire..

the least i can do is try to ignore, and worry-not about everything

oh, i am so STRESSED!

forgot?

of course i didn't ignore you, my love.
i just happens to forget about you for a while
oh really? :#!
i love you forever and ever
i miss you
but i just don't need you right now.
i'm blissed
happily and merrily..

did i mention i love you yet?


*gile ke sewel ckp dgn blog? wahahaha.. whatever it is i still love you babe!


nk tempek lagu ni.. best~!


Agnes Monica – Teruskanlah
Pernahkah kau bicara
Tapi tak di dengar
Tak di anggap
Sama sekali

Pernahkan kau tak salah
Tapi disalahkan
Tak di beri
Kesempatan


Kuhidup dengan siapa
Ku tak tau kau siapa
Kau kekasihku tapi
Orang lain bagiku


Kau dengan dirimu saja
Kau dengan duniamu saja

Teruskan lah..
Teruskan lah
Kau begitu


Kau tak butuh diriku
Aku patung bagimu
Cinta bukan
Kebutuhan mu

make time go faster or stop here

i am totally disappointed with myself..
oh syaimaa' ahmad, can u force yourself to something better?

or perhaps just stay where u are now..

time, can you go faster? or just go back to where i have my heart back.

arghhh... stressed out suda~

happy 090909 everyone!

I've been gone like 2 days... anddd omg! my emails flooded with FB notifications.. nothing much, but just a bunch of sickkkk people love to play tag, run, n flood everybody's emails with junk!





*harsh*






I dunno why.. but I'm kind of fancy today's 090909 date.. it;s like a perfect series of number to remark something isn't it? well like, nk nikad time 010101 la, 020202 la.. or wat eva..



and despite to series of things that made me cranky all week long, I set an alarm on my phone.. 9th september 2009.. [something great is going to happen! be strong cemak~]



maybe i sound superstitious.. but we can have some space for dreams aren't we?


and lucky me me.. just a few minutes in 090909.. and i'm smiling again..
i'm no longer 'sick', my headache is gone, the cave sessions ended *grin*, well.. a perfect day to celebrate!

me: omg! i miss that
M.L: miss what?
me: that phrase u always mention
M.L: does that mean u miss me?
me: bwekk.. get a clue!

do i miss you? gawdddd.. i miss you too much! :X

lovesickness

Things had been getting out of hands this past two days. Nothing works out for me. I fell sick i mean like-sickening -SICK~ oh. well i must say my sleep schedule went haywire again. I woke up at 3 am morning feeling extremely dizzy and nauseous. I threw up at 10 after struggling to force myself back to bed. I dunno, something has been bothering me. But I can't tell what it is.

I talked to someone this morning, and again.. i found the conversation not very comforting. I got sick thinking on how men and women are weirdly different. And how their act to problems are also different, but yet we found ourselves, sticking and finding soulmate for ourselves. It's like two different poles attracting each other. I've been reading Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus only to find myself in greater confusion.

We want comfort and you want to pull away from us? and how would that work in a real-life relationship? I could only see myself in misery if I would have an uncaring husband who only think about how to make himself happy instead of saving the marriage.

One of my male collegue said to me.. " we guys, will just leave our partner [girl] for quite sometime, let her cry missing us. Then we go back to her." And he call that sweet. Oh well, i got nothing against this unique male policy. But surely no girl would want to handle that. It sounds pretty mean to me. I dunno. But I will totally respect that.

If that is what he wants, then i'm totally okay with it. But please dear, don't blame me if I wouldn't be seeking for you. I'm just giving you some space to breath. I understand how this space is important for you. So don't take me for granted just because of that.

oh.. i'm totally done with all these mushy stuff.

EmOtIOnAL~

emotional failure. I guess by now, i'm kind of lost. it's like you chasing me away. But i'm not going to assume anything. I'm waiting for you to speak out. I told you before. In fact, many times before. when we're done. then we're done forever. in a good way. we don't need the painful awkward break up session. No need of hurting each other. put a fullstop. and go.

but i'm still waiting

a confession

everything started out easy and happy
but it's getting weird and hard
so weird, that i couldn't picture of what's next
so hard, that i can't think of a perfect ending to this

i miss you
i miss the laughter of stupid jokes that we shared
i miss the i-would-not-mind- waiting- you- to-finish- your- work
and i miss everything about not knowing your thoughts

the not talking but always know the right message
it works like magic

i love the way you work hard for your future
the forever great news you told me
about you
about the life you lead

i couldn't be happy more
and i would always be happy for you

but now i'm not sure what happening between us
remember that i told you that i will always be there for you?

i'm sorry
i'm not chasing you away from me
you don't know how it rages inside me
to see you that far
and not being able to be at times of need

i can't afford the pain anymore
i am not willing to sacrifice this friendship for what i feel.
what will be will be
only God knows that

all i know is i need to be apart from you
cause what hurt the most is being so close
but yet too far away.

i'll miss you forever, friend~