birthday bash

bertiga lebih baik~

berdua jap~

budak comel main hadiah comelcomel

markah exam kami.. haha ameen!!

"besday wishes" dari seluruh dunia.. haha~ x tahan padahal tgh wat keje.. dinner lgi sebulan kot~



pisau dapur kot kau kasi aku.. awat x bwk parang~

geng star! haha..

terima kasih semua~ pinkies2 hahah .. wat malu jek masuk dewan pekse pink2 gini.. berjemaah lak tu thnks~

dalam bahasa perancis delice maksudnya yg manis..ok~ ini adalah tipu

3 s bukan syok sendiri sorang.. syai, syak, syaz




gambar keras terakhir sebelum jd 19!

selamat menjadi manis

30th may

ahli beitku yg sporting mempinkkan diri~ dan rai yg dipenyek maduku~

Terime kasih semua.. sayang nye korang2... sangatsangat happy.. for the elegant cake..sampai malam ngadap kek tu~ the Cookdoor party..jahanam diet sume org the sweetsweet wishes.. ade yg wish sampai 3 kali.. waktu mesir, malaysia, brunei.. aduii.. kamu sungguh sweet.. jap! tak abes lagi list ni.. for the cute presents.. tq anah ume syak syaz... saya sayang kamu juge... to my ksm thank you for the b'daysong video.. for the unprofessional singing yg kena paksa berkalikali.. tapi u did it too tq sygku~..demand sungguh besday girl ini 12342~

For the wishes that fly through sms.. walaupun lambat xpelah,GMT lainlain kan? difahami 2... my dearest kautsar hani zati nuha, yg antar through off9 msges, Facebook.. kepada warga imarah11 dan juge rakanrakan semedic sekalian!! and oh! my exsmkaa'ians dayah and bejah.. ^-^!

My clans 508 yg paling awal wishes beramai-ramai.. terharu siot.. my housemates yg sanggup jadi perwakilan puteri umno today.. pink2.. kepada adek ku Rai, yg susah payah plan b'day 'surprise'.. percayalah aku mmg terperanjat sgt!! haha~

To my parents for their doa...to my adekadek.. hadiah top up itu bermakna ok? hahaha
besday yg paling lame yg penah, ade dari semalam sampai skang msg x putus masuk, ym la, dtg umah la.. dari semalam sampai sekarang tersengihsengih.. aaaiii.. tataw nk cakap ape, terharu sampai speechless.. kamu begitu sweet, sahabat2 ku..

Dia timpakan ribut, rupanya Dia mahu hadirkan saya pelangi.. selamat dtg pelangi~

It's award time!

ucapan paling manis:-

"selamat menjadi syaimaa yg baru, yg disayangi Allah" -raihaana-

wish paling banyak:-

izzati hashimxleh blah la mcti! tq2

makhluk paling cute dan manis di Cookdoor:-

syak, syaz, rai, aishah zahirah,tiqoh, ada , farahyen, jieya, tasneem, tasneem lagi, nOr~

hadiah paling manis:-

stay~ and this bday song.. 1234!

bulan paling banyak postakibat tension dan bengang~

MAY!! tahniah blog writer.. tahun depan buat lagi yer.. sape suh wat org sedih time bulan besday sy??~ LoL

this bday song is dedicated to me by1234...xnk gtaw! bwekk~ hahakalau rajen klik kalau x blah

mode happy sampai melonjaklonjak ke langit ke7!
alhamdulillah dpt kwn manis macam kamusemua~
nnt mahu upload gambar besday sy k?
btw iloveu too..

The Coffee Tale

ughh.. the only thing i hate this layout is that it won't let me write long long title... which i luuuv to do btw..

Anyhow, as usual.. i'd like to spill crappy words again.. not feeling like reading? fine.. shuhhh~ click [X]

Ever bought that instant coffee mix, where it reads.. ready to serve just add hot water.. great!
so, i bought one of those.. of course.. and i thought it ease my life.. apparently NOT~..

i plainly just empty the content into my cup and add water.. wallah~ just like the instruction.. then i took a sip.. bluaarrkk.. not nice... not sweet.. not creamy.. not .. errr.. definitely a no-no..

so i end up.. adding milk.. ....sugar.. ...and some more coffee from my mate's coffee jar.. ouh, wait.. that equal almost everything from the premix coffee sachet.. what the..??

when i was about to throw the empty sachet.. i saw this....

"you may want to add sugar or creamer to suite your personal taste preference"

*curse*

what's the damage dude? if i'm too petty to make my own coffee mix, i won't end myself up to buying a 3-in-1's which cost me more tho~

i hate instant stuff. claim to be instant but blahh~ [whtthh am i talking about???? ]

****

ok, i might agree.. this is without a doubt, my ultimate most boring 29th May of my entire life..

i'm seriously, oh-not-so anticipating tomorrow.. btw, biochemistry rawks! oh yeaah~

ok.stop.bye!

macam gula

macam gula
manis tapi menderitakan

macam gula
manis tapi melalaikan

macam gula
manis tapi menyakitkan

macam gula
dihurung semut lalu bukan hanya manusia memaki nya

macam gula
manis tapi menyusahkan

macam gula
itu dunia..
manis tapi melekakan

macam gula
itu saya
manis tapi memuakkan

macam gula macam semut macam macam

belajar untuk melepaskan semua benda yang tak patut dimiliki.. dalam luas nya Rahmah Mu Tuhan.. pasti aku tak sesal dengan hanya hilangnya ramah manusia ..

bila kasih membuakkan benci, maka macam gula untuk pesakit diabetis.. manis manis kaki dibuang juga..


berhenti jadi gula.. awak tahu awak juga gula.. dihurung semut lalu dibuang.. tak mahu jadi gula.. tapi mahu MANIS

about 5

about 5 question you that is most likely to be annoying prior to an exam :-

1. "eh, kau dah habes study?"
2. "aku cuaklah nk exam. kau?"
3. "masuk ape je ek exam ni?"
4. "kau yakin tak ?"
5. "bila exam tu?"

about 5 things i would like to change about myself :-

1. selfishness
2. outspoken words that tears other people heart
3. emotional
4. blogging and speaking nothing but nonsense
5. pessimistic

about 5 things i really want right now :-

1. to say sorry to everything i did
2. to go to the Nile side and be ALONE for the whole day
3. to cry out loud and stop everything that initiate it
4. secret recipe caramel cheese cake
5. stop doing stupid things and start loving

about 5 things i regret at the moment :-

1. writing this
2. revealing my feeling even when i know it harm everyone
3. to ever create this blog and create havoc
4. accidently fall for someone
5. creating a stupid scene where i then don't know how to escape from it anymore

about....

entahlah.. takde idea dah..

mind over matter

looks can be deceiving

words are powerful that sword

people can harm you and love you at the same time

i think i should stop this nonsense right away...

you know what, i don't care if no one read my post. i know i'm boring and pathethic so go away... i'm contented because i released everything..

well, i am happy.. apparently someone else's not.. but what can I do..

life is unfair but God is great..

peace is not something you get, but it's what you create

blerghh.mahu cipta dunia utk org2 melancholy dan pergi bersendirian utk beberapa hari..masalah.. masalah.. kenapa satu satu nk datang masa saya exam ni.. saya hanya mahu bahagia.. kenapa takda satu pon yg kena?

apa saya tak layak untuk gembira? ya, mungkin kerana banyak dosa...Tuhan, ku hadir padaMu..

Terasa Hati

Katalah saya emosi.. sangat tak rasional.. dua tiga post asek menda negatif saja.. nk buat mcm mn.. tak abes2 nk berduka lara.. entahlah.. terbaca sesuatu.. sangat2 menikam dada.. entahlah.. bila kenyataan diketahui melalui interpretasi maka mungkinkah semua itu hanya ilusi? Allah~

Maka atas premis apa, sy mengkonklusi perkara2 tersebut.. semua..semua perkara yg sy buat mendatangkn fitnah utk kamu dan diri sy.. setakat mana sy menilai erti persahabatan itu sy pun tak tahu... bila tak ada satu benda pun yg terlihat positif dari sesuatu perkara.. kenapa kita selalu me'negatif'kan ia? tak ada jalan tengah lagi kah..

Saya punya rencana.. Tuhan yg menentukannya.. Ya Allah..entahlah.. petanda apakah yg Kau cuba berikan utkku?

*ilusi+emosi = konklusi?

sy bosan hidup dalam tekateki.. sy sakit bgn tidur setiap hari mengheret masalah yg sama.. sy sedih kenangkan perkara2 yg sy sendiri fikir dan cari pasal tanpa dpt menyelesaikn..sy mahu tutup kes.. lepas ini sy tutup kes...

maka konklusi sy ialah buat-buat tak tahu.. pedih hati bila banyak perkara yang hanya kebenaran yg dapat selesaikan tapi di akhir cerita.. ini * juga yg menang..

sakit sakit..

kepada sahabat-sahabatku.. tolong jangan su'uzon atas setiap sesuatu.. percayalah.. sy akan jawab dengan jujur pertanyaan anda.. tolong jangan hukum sy.. percaya atau tidak sy sangat mudah tersentuh.. walaupun kamu tak cakap.. pandangan kamu merobek hati sy..


ini kali terakhir sy bercakap tentang ini.. lupakah kamu? saya sudah tutup kes.. dan dalam perbicaran kes Rasionaliti menentang Syaimaa Ahmad.. Mahkamah mendapati pihak defendan bersalah dan dengan ini menjatuhkan hukuman untuk beristighfar dan merenung kekurangan diri. Bersurai.


saya akan lari, supaya kamu aman, saya aman, dunia aman..
tamat cerita~

****

okok.. this is happy stuff..

My Bro got through the MISC cadet sponsorship programme!!!

yeah, i noe.. so freaking awesome..

i've been worry for nothing..

well~, must have been because of my super duper excellent application letter and rocking resume`.. anyone would buy that... i noe it's effing cool~ lalala

in euphoric mental state..

hepihepihepi~ coolest bday gift bro!

p/s:- selamat menjadi kaya dan takde life adekku~

hey, nnt dah kaya jangan lupa aku..

privacy and what comes with it

When i chose to be discreet, i would really appreciate if you stop asking questions.. and when i said i need privacy, i'm more than happy if you would respect my space..

I don't need a CIA or SB to monitor my emails and check my call registers.. and sneak a peek at my messenger list.or my laptop screen. or myplaylist..which is full of Paramore and Muse and aah~ lagho~because i never do that to people.. i would really expect the same from others.. respect my space please~.. it's not that i'm mad or something.. but.. it's not very comfortable.. i have my reasons for keeping a lot of things to myself.. simple2 thing could turn into a massive fitnah if you know what i mean.. i lost a friend along the way.. and i don't want to repeat it... when i'm not ready to share with the world.. i AM not ready..

It's about respecting others.. if only we could learn how far we can get into peoples' life..the limits that we must set for someone to enter your private life, then everything would be okay. This post is going to be a long one. Stay with me.


Lately, i don't share things with people.. even closest friend.. not even you dear (kautsar) sorry.. not quite the right time.. i've been keeping loads of things in my mind.. my fear.. my anger.. even my tears.. everytime i cracked over something, i just sleep and if worst, i just cried behind the comforter they don't call it comforter for nothing u noe~

I'm just not the old me anymore.. i hide my emotions.. but it doesn't mean i don't have one... I need my space to be respected.. that's all i'm asking.. please... please.. have trust in me.. my life is not as enjoyable as it might seems.. go stalk someone else~

Read between the lines.. if i didn't say no.. doesn't mean i approve it.. you should know by yourself.. we all have boundaries, i need mine.. i don't think i need to build a wall.. we have our own rationality.. think about this.. don't do thing you don't like to others... and we all will be fine..

I learnt a lot of things regarding life. One of them is.. when you exposed too much about yourself, your emotions.. people tend to judge you.. they try to justify every act that you did.. sorry..I'm the kind of person who don't like to be prejudged... my judgements are far differs from you...

So your evaluations are not on flat ground, humans' thought are often bias and unwise.. sorry...sorry.. please let it go.. please let ME go..

I don't need that judgement looks on your faces to make me feel bad.. i AM already bad.. but i'm still rational.. thanks for your concern tho..

my life is completely undercontrol even tho mate dah bengkak2 dua tiga hari ni.. tido x ikut masa.. nanges sana sini.. ah elmo lah kau~ NAK BALIK.. kat umah i'm free to do anything without risau someone stalking on me... lalalala~


btw.. why i prefer using english? b'coz u can say a lot of emo stuff and people would have to think to judge them.. huhu... if i use BM.. it would be straight forward.. and people read and judge...


please read, understand, judge...



comments?


ah.. no need.. u know u love me.. x0x0


LoL~

ignore this

Take a breath
I pull myself together
Just another step until
Ireach the door
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you

I wish that I could tell you something
To take it all away
Sometimes I wish
Icould save you
And there's so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up til it's over
If it takes you forever

I want you to know
When I hear your voice
it's drowning in the whispers
There's nothing left to take and no matter what I do
I can't make you feel better
If only I could find the answer
To help me understand

Sometimes I wish I could saveyou
And there's so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up til it's over
If it takes you forever
I want you to know that
If you fall, stumble down
I'll pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you
I'll give you strength to pull through

Tell me you won't give up
Cause I'll be waiting, if you fall you know
I'll be there for you
If only I could find the answer
To take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there's so many things that
I want you to know I won't give up til it's over
If it takes you forever
Iwant you to know
I wish I could save you


please..please..please.. just skip this.. i'm not having enough sleep remember..something must had got into my brain somehow.. DAMAGED!~

btw, this is a song. i did not have the brain of a writer you noe~!
[mode jiwang tak tentu arah.. i hereby allow you to say i'm lunatic now ~_~!]

sleep is all you need

semalam tido pukul 3. tak dapat tido. Insomnia? tidak. neva~... kaki tidur. tak mungkin ada penyakit ini. sedang berfikir. berfikir.dan.berfikir. tak dapat solusi.tido.bangun 430. langgar kipas. sujud solat subuh. angkat kepala. rasa berputarputar. huh! tido itu penting. sekian.

this post is red b'cuz IT'S IMPORTANT! lalalala~

crack quote of the day:

sometimes when you feel down over an uncertain thing, just sleep on it. Stupid argument dies after the wake up smile.
-syaimaahmad-

####

just to [oh, i dunno the right word to say] 'spice' things up???? i included the "Word of The Day" and "Ugly vs. Cute Word of The Day" column..i got this funny mode for thesaurus nowaday.. it used to be my source of joke sometimes There, below your right side. Enjoy! and hey, if you have any idea for the words, just leave ur shout out at my chatbox!

toddles~craps.. i dunno what this means either.. LoL

Y_Y!

Oh-My-G0d.. here it comes again.. the emo-not-so-great feeling... shushhh!!.. it's not that i can do anything about it tho.. moodswings.. blerghh.. when u got this emo-thing.. then nothing would fall into it's place ..

i chipped my nail when cutting potatoes.. lucky i got nails, if not i might lose a finger today.. then i burned my arm.. [hey kids, when mom says stay away out of kitchen.. she really mean it ok??]
cooking and my mind wandering around.. sumpah tak aman gile hidup aku

Then u would be mad over everything.. EVERYTHING I tell you! i saw someone with mess out hair.. and i went babbling about how people invented combs and hair clips.. someone come and chitchatted over God knows who about God knows what.... aduss we still have 3 papers coming up..
next u have someone telling u how upset they were over the exams.. bla..bla..bla.. oii2, i burned the whole long essay question and u're upset over a simple drawing? *urut dada tahan sabar

i need time to be alone and quiet.. stop it!!.. then i scolded at Marmalade.. she jammed a lot nowadays.. it's like daring me to throw her over the wall... u noe i might do that for real!! then i dunno who.. buzz me at the YM.. sending steewpidstweepid audibles.. hey!!!! i'm really straining myself from cursing someone.. and you're trying me out?? is this a joke???



when i got this.. no one can come near.. u might be broken hearted over nothing.. i could say something i you really really don't want to hear for rest of your life..i think i need to wear the sign over my face.. which read "STAY AWAY..HIGHLY FLAMMABLE!"


not-so-sweet attitude kan? ish.. dunno.. dunno.. dunno... i just got a lot of stuff in my head.. wut evss~


all i need is a plain smile... a sunshine.. a cute joke.. a simple Hye! a...
make me smile now, just for a while..


you're like a shadow always there wherever i go..but never real.. when light's gone you'll vanish too...

buat-buat senyum dan jadi manis...

it's BITTERSWEET

hi! i tried to make the title as catchy as i cud.. obviously it works like craps ough!! examexamexam.. i'm implying a new rule here.. nobody mention the E word here!! got it? got it?

the lame old blog of mine was a total misery.. exams make people cranky and fight over a cup of coffee~ just get over it, babe! ha-ha-ha...

Ok.. so.. no one speaks the language of exams here... btw, i'd like to spill on something about the 3 hours from the Dark Cruel World of Egyptians Exams read DEAD world~

Fuuuh.. you people who study in Local Univ's should be grateful..hey, not now k?


just wanna tell you folks that I had just recovered from an internal ear bleeding last night.. those peope just can't get everything settled peaceful...nk kawen gaduh nk gmakan kecoh nk exam riuh.. WT..??

basically.. it mess my life out.. i was supposed to review my note last night..but i end up.. figuring out ways to be deaf for a while..

hey, i said shut up!!


no cursing please...
it's not what sweet gurls do..

grin


hey *syg, imissu

*this is kautsar..

cerialah!... kerana hidup itu indah :)

Tukar template baru.. comel kan? okok sy tahu.. yg guys kat luar sane dah uweekkk.. gilegeli lah..ape lah.. tapi yg gurls wud go like.. aaawww.. shweet LoL...

ahaks.. sy tahu2 sngt comel ni.. tak mahu lepas the little blue blog.. tho yg pink td cam comel juge.. takpe.. this is little BLUE blog.. hiks...

dgn terhapusnye sombre blue yg lame tuh.. harap2 posting selepas2 ini lebih ceria macam ntv7...

mari nk tunjuk sweet heart sy yg di malaysia ni... handsome org nya.. Muhd Syamel Afiq.. ahaii.. rindu lah budak kecik ini...XoXO

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*****

learning to let go and forget what's not belong to me...

entah..

-katakata apabila tidak memberi makna lagi.. maka diam itu lebih baik-

sy sikit pon tak faham apapa.. tp belum masanya utk fikirkan.. tggu~ masa masih pnjg.. andai itu bukan takdir sy.. sy sudah belajar utk let go and forget..

oh, hidup ini begitu indah jadi mari... senyum!

:D

sweet itu manis

semalam ada peristiwa.. dua cerita.. satu kesan

kosong...


entah... entah...

pagi tadi ada satu peristiwa.. senyum kejap.. pastu kosong balik..


entahlah...
saya baru sedar kot..
yang manis itu tak semestinya gula...

gula pula tak semestinya manis...


*dalam gile maksud.. maaf.. saya sudah bosan menjadi shallow atau low...


hey, hari ini exam sempat post lagi satu entry.... entah..

eehh

entahlah.. nk cakap ape pon tak tahu.. cakap kang kontrovesi.. tak cakap... dah membenak dalam hati

hey cemak.. kamu coffeemate.. ade sedap.. takde takpe je.. bukan gula... tidak semanis itu
T_T!


zaman sekarang orang letak susu dalam coffee.. lebih berkhasiat.... erk ape yg aku merepek ni

entah juge!!


goodluck syaimaahmaddansemuapelajarmedictahunsatukasrelainy!



coffeemate ke coffee saya tetap sayang kamu..
bye~

sleep induced stress

ada penyakit baru. ini cerita baru. bkn H1N1. tolonglah. vain gile kamu. itu cerita lama. ini cerita baru. kamu yang bukan pelajar perubatan mungkin tidak pernah dengar penyakit ini. Ia berangkai. berkaitkait. macam tiga serangkai. kencing manis.penyakit jantung. hypertension. berkait.

Ini penyakit budak medic. oh ya! kalau bukan budak medic. budak skema juga mudah kena penyakit ini. penyakit ini adalah SIS. bukan sister. bodoh kamu. ini bukan subjek tripleonenine. ini biologi. ini fisiologi <huduh benar tulis melayu beginikan?> SIS. sleep induced stress.

oh? tak faham bahasa inggeris? hey, kamu ini. penat sahaja ada sistem terbabit. tidak ada kesankah? tidak mengapa. saya bukan nak berdebat tajuk ini. sekarang saya bukan pendebat. saya bakal doktor. doktor mesti ramah mulut. pesakit tanya jawab sajalah, kecoh apehal??? <sila jangan emo disini.malu.>

sleep induced stress. tidur yang menyebabkan stress. kalau anda stress anda tidur bukan? tapi jagajaga. pelajar medic dan pelajar skema umumnya. Dr Syaimaa Ahmad M.D pesan, ada penyakit baru. SIS. kalau anda tidur dalam keadaan ini. maka anda akan stress.

mari lihat sebabsebab postsleep stress:

1. Tidur terlalu awal pada malam hari tidak stayup, lusa exam.kalau esok exam.kucing pon tahu.nnt blank.jgn stayup la.


2. Tidur awal untuk bangun semula. tapi tak bangunbangun sampai subuh. gile bengang kot.plan tak jadi. tahajud melepas. double tensi


3. Tidur yang bangun lambat gile. Utk kaum hawa difahami. yg Adam. Anda tak takut dosa tinggal subuh kah? lagi2 bangun je housemate siisi rumah riuh menelaah. rasa mahu tarik rambut akibat stress. kan? kan?


4. Tidur ketika tengah membaca. kononkonon mahu qailulah. tapi sampai ke petang. silibus belum selesai.Lusa exam mati


5. Tidur ketika didalam peperiksaan. ini mmg fatal. no komen. tukar course jelaa. memang sin.ya.wau.ta!


6. Tidur dalam keadaan orang serumah baca buku bagai nak rak. bila anda bangun mereka kata alhamdulillah selesai juga. haa tidur lagi.padanmuke
7. Tidur petang dan tak bangun untuk dinner.skipping meals can also supresss CNS and body mass atrophy. wakakaka. perli nih.. tak terasa tak tahulah~ :p

berikut adalah sebab musababnya. banyak lagi sebenarnya. tapi artikel ini khusus untuk pelajar. jadi tak perlu cerita tidur yang apabila bangun rumah kena rompak dsb. itu lari tajuk.

jadi marilah kita mengelak penyakit ini. jadilah warga PERUBATAN yang bahagia.

sila rujuk artikel asal yang lebih positif. tidur itu baik untuk pelajar. oh saya terjemah lagi.. sindrom juga ini

rujukan:

1. Kali S, Dayan P. Off-line replay maintains declarative memories in a model of hippocampal-neocortical interactions. Nat Neurosci. Mar 2004;7(3):286-294.
2. Walker MP, Brakefield T, Hobson JA, et al. Dissociable stages of human memory consolidation and reconsolidation. Nature. Oct 9 2003;425(6958):616-620.
3. Maquet P, Schwartz S, Passingham R, et al. Sleep-related consolidation of a visuomotor skill: brain mechanisms as assessed by functional magnetic resonance imaging. J Neurosci. Feb 15 2003;23(4):1432-1440.
4. Pennartz CM, Uylings HB, Barnes CA, et al. Memory reactivation and consolidation during sleep: from cellular mechanisms to human performance. Prog Brain Res. 2002;138:143-166.
5. Hoffman KL, McNaughton BL. Sleep on it: cortical reorganization after-the-fact. Trends Neurosci. Jan 2002;25(1):1-2.
6. Peigneux P, Laureys S, Delbeuck X, et al. Sleeping brain, learning brain. The role of sleep for memory systems. Neuroreport. Dec 21 2001;12(18):A111-124.
7. Fischer S, Hallschmid M, Elsner AL, et al. Sleep forms memory for finger skills. Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. Sep 3 2002;99(18):11987-11991.

tingkatkan prestasi, jauhkan tensi

salam manis,

DR. Syaimaa Ahmad. M.D, M.B.B.S PhD. S.I.D, SOS

Kasr elainy med school

siap upload gambar. baru real beb! ah otak dah mereng. hei esok histology.. doakan saya ye..

sayang kamu!

even walls have ears...

Penah dgr kata2 mcm kat ats ni? pleaselaa, sape x penah dgr sile repeat paper tripleonenine yer!
mmg out laah.. gile down sgt2 skang.. ughhh.. sindrom too-not-over-physio and scared-off-by histo...

Tak terkata pny down.. tp as always.. cakap dgn dinding saja.. kadang2 cakap dgn dinding itu lebih membahagiakan.. x caye? try wat.. dinding tak akan judge ape yg korg cakap.. takkan reply bukan2... setia mendengar... of course kita takkan marah klau dia buat bodoh kat kite.. hello~ itu dinding!

Huh~ sometimes i just need someone to lend their ears.. kdg2 tu tanak pon dgr dia reply apape.. just dengar je.. sometimes that's all i need... i don't need motivational words..or what should i do next..telling me stuff would be great..dunia ini indah.. Tuhan itu adil.. and.. bla..bla..bla.. i knew those things.. try to just shut up and hear me for God sake!

entah la.. dah lame x dgr org cakap.. "cemak, u're just great! keep it up" no one gives me a pat me for my efforts.. aii.. whenever i'm down, people would go like.. "takpelaa, masih ada peluang lagi" "aku lagi teruk dari kau" " aku pon same je" ????? ... haih.. none of them are comforting sometimes.. nothing sounds right when you're emo kan? so... just listen please..sekejap saja...

And.. the best advice doesn't always come from those you endear the most... just a few of your coursemates can make you smile at your darkest moment..by saying stupid stuff sometimes..which takde kaitan langsung dgn what i spilled to you btw~.. Terima kasih sangat kepada mereka2 itu.. kamu adalah sweetheart sejati < sweetheart =" a" href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sweetheart">dictionary ini .. jgn su'uzon! perlu saya ulangkah, utk kamu repeat paper tripleonenine?? >

btw....you don't know how much it helps when no one is there for you and thank you for being low with me.."jom naik tahun dgn smooth same2?"..the greatest piece of comfortlah~ ingatkan aku je rasa mcm tu.. for saying the right thing at the right time or not saying anything when i don't need them.. loneliness taught you about life.. how to cakap with dinding??




*dan bila semua orang bajet nk mumtaz dan aku mengharap naik tahun tanpa carry paper atau repeat tahun.. itu adalah low dan sungguh x kewl maka selayaknya saya berasa down.. T_T!


`
bile takde orang mendengar, bila org bercakap bahasa histology..bila luahan kamu mendownkan org..bila kamu rasa nk nanges tp.. bajet strong..maka mula mengarut2 dan bersembang sama dinding~ ahh crap laa

i can foresee the upcoming comments.. hey chot, stop saying those momok teacher thing laa..aiii..

jalan ini akan sakit
akn perit...
saya tahu
saya faham
tapi
saya mahu....


ok. mencari pasal lagi... kalau berdarah ubat sendiri~


toygirl?? apakah??... hampeh pny facebook quiz!

tiada tajuk untuk post yg tiada manfaat

puas. walaupun tak dapat jawab dengan MANTOP. tapi puas.noktah.noktah besarbesar.
malas nk besarbesar cerita. setiap malam stay up macam orang tak berapa nak betul. yes! cara study yang salah~ tapi medic memang begini... tiada study yg sempurna... pakai jelah apape pon.. marathon? chess? squash? hah APA APA AJE....janji ace..

oh, sy gugup.. benarbenar gugup.. daripada 10.. sy bagi 5 je performance td. cukuplah kot. untuk tahun ini. lihat kiri. muke seryes. lihat kanan.. mak oiii.. essay x nmpak garis.. huruf je penuh. tgk depan. sengih. fuiyoo.. dapat jawablah tu..

sy? alhamdulillah je dgn apa yg ada.. atleast sy berusaha ke tahap mumtaz bil syaraf.. jawab semua latihan..completed essay.. finished the golden rules.. summarised everything.. baca every topics.. tho sy gadaikan platelet... bungkuslah td T_T~! nak buat macam mana kalau dah otak bukan mesin fotostat...*smile


tapi entah.. sy rs happy jugak kot..atleast sy x nyesal x study macam org gile
ha-ha-ha
xde rezeki... Tuhan ada caraNya
hey~
nk jerit

marimari


hip hip hurray~

nak balik dah...



dan..........




saya tak mahu balik sini repeat before raya

sumpah.tak.mahu.

:(

ok, i noe i said no more posts before physio, but i can't help it.. when i cracked.. i need to talk.. since i'm less talking here and now (dunno why, mebi b'cuz kaut and honey is away.. and nuha was like miles from here..no chance to speak~) my little peaceful blue blog is sooo helpful.. tho i truly believe no one is reading it now..hah perasan sajelah~

`

i'm the least affected by exams.. exams can't do any harm on me... *bluff* but i cud get relirelireli down by it afterwards.. ughh juz lyke my practical anats~ pheww.. tata mumtaz~

wateva.. i said i'm least but not NOT affected at all.. basically it is understood, y ppl get cranky over it.. IT"S LIFE DETERMINING For God sake... anyhow.. I think i made a lot of ppl sick with me.. I got cranky and i drag others along.. i was emo...

so.. I'm saying a big big big sincere ....

`

``

`

sorry~

`

`

`

`

know "ciwek"? some called it "cenggeng" hah, gelak gelak~...... i think i got dat attitude deh~.. just now i got a cut over the wicked sink... i was dabbing it with a tissue as soon as i saw the blood, i cried.. yeah.. lame~ dunno y, probably i needed to cry for some times.. but i've been keeping it to myself.. too many stuff happens.. i got confused.. i got sick.. i got tired.. i've been ignored for some reasons.. i've been accused for something.. i've been doing something bad.. and i noe it too... time will heal everything.. i hope it' heal u.. and me... and all of us *pray*

`

like tiqah said... pops up the silly questions on wrong timing and they'll back out

`

entahlah..

`

u shud have said something

`

or

`

let me noe

`

i cud try to understand

or

`

at the very least

`

make it wise and clear

cuz i might get lost for real, and can;t find my way back.....

`

`

`

`

`

it's 2 a.m, feeling like i just lost a friend

and you know it;s not easy

easy for me....

-breathe-

the right advice by the wrong person.. at the very right time

I can’t believe it’s over
I watched the whole thing fall
And I never saw the writing that was on the wall
`

If I only knew
The days were slipping past
That the good things never last
That you were cryin'
Summer turned to winter
And the snow, it turned to rain
Then the rain turned into tears upon your face
I hardly recognize the girl you are today
And God
I hope it's not too late
It's not too late
`

Cuz you are not alone
I’m always there with you
And we’ll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
When you feel like you’re done
And the darkness has won
`

Babe you’re not lost
When your world’s crashing down
And you can’t bear the thought
I said babe you’re not lost
``

Life can show no mercy
It can tear your soul apart
It can make you feel like you’ve gone crazy
But you’re not
`

Though things have seemed to change
There’s one thing that’s still the same
In my heart you have remained
And we can fly, fly, fly away
`

Cuz you are not alone
I am there with you
And we’ll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
When you feel like you’re done
And the darkness has won
`

Babe you’re not lost
When your worlds crashing down
And you can't bear the thought
I said babe you’re not lost

michael buble` - lost


yela tu i'm not lost.. sweet lah.. time kaseh la selipar ilang... lepas ni ak belilah selipar baru kat ko
sbb baik sgt~

salah org daa..apepe pon tq

rupanya bukan kamu, tapi aku

sejak mata pandai
mentafsir indahnya dunia
hati karam dalam pesonanya
`
kala akal bijak
menilai mimpi
tanah bukan jejakku lagi..
`
bila jiwa mengenal cinta
maka aku dekat pada derhaka
saat nurani diisi hamba
kembang kempis jantung ku menahan
seksanya dosa
`
ketika pancaindera disapa
bayu leka
tak gentar aku akan bahangnya neraka
`
dan bila aku yakin bertemu bahagia
aku lupa tentang wujudnya syurga
`
Tuhan, seberapa kerap aku berpaling
kerana jahilnya aku
kerana kelamnya Cintaku
kerana terpananya aku
`
telah Engkau khabarkan
tiada tenang tanpa mengingatiMu
apa perlu aku tanya,
mengapa resah dada tiada bernoktah?
`
Rindu,
bila bukan untukMu
maka celakalah aku

engaged??

It goes again and again.. steewpidsteewpid conversation about the engagement thingy... you guys just can't differ when I'm joking and when I'm not yeah? And when Syaimaaahmad gets bored answering she'd go for a YES! amek ko! I can't remember what triggers the not-so-cool gossips again~ (tho, I'm enjoying the status of engaged for a while)

When things finally cleared out.. they matchmake me with this Mr.M.. then Mr.F.. then Mr. .... haih jadi single mingle pon kecoh ...see? That's why I said being "engaged" is much better.. people would just stop talking for a while. Stop the wild fire gossips.. these few days were like craps too.. it's really hard to keep up with people.. their thoughts, their sayings.. I'm not with anyone at least for now..ok, fine! not engaged.. single and not available..stay away~(just got 19.. awal lg nih..)

was it because of this pic? LoL~

30 may 2012, aged 22.. bleh? hahaha~ (klau tunggu Mr. Right x dtg2.. lari lah kot planning)

crappy stuff.. for sure labelled under -nonsense- hahaha.. gimme a break lah, just finished the first texbook <slowveryslow and steady notsosteady~>

5 more days to go...2 more textbook... respiration and cardiology... thrill will start running afterwards~ so.. this is my last post before physiology...

too many possible essay questions, only 8 will come out.. it's like the Survivor game.. in the end.. just one will be the ultimate survivor *sigh* the others just played along for nothing.. penat kan?

btw just can't take my ears off these... james morrisons...

it's called mitosis chenta ha-ha-ha


finalexamsmakeme giddy~
signing off

*~*~*prayers*~*~*

dear God,

all I need now is a switch off

for my judging eyes and their too..

for my degrading thoughts

for my back voices hearing...

`

dear God,

I can't stand the pain of pressure

I put myself into..

I can't bear to be so low

I need an inspiration

a strength to hold on

an undoubtful faith to keep in...

`

dear God,

I pray for sunny days

but please don't stop the rain..

It brings me to You..

but this storm won't seem to go anywhere

I'm lost

`

dear God,

I forgot You at times

and

now I fear of You

not being by my side

anymore..

`

dear God,

I pray for forever blessed

Your Rahmah and Maghfirah

lead my way..

for I constantly took life for granted..

I fall for the world..

and

Now I need to get back to You...

`

~ameen~

saya budak medik.. sekian

Pelik tp benar, dah masuk final baru terasa yg diri ni tersalah terjun masuk bidang.. apalah budak pemalas, suka menangguh mcm sy ni buat dlm kalangan bdk2 medik ni..

Tapi sy suka ulang ayat ini utk org lain.. sekarang sy nk sebut baaaanyak2 kali..

"kamu mungkin tersalah pilih bidang, tapi Allah tak mungkin salah pilih orang utk bidang ni"

Bila ingat yg Allah memegang jalan hidup sy, yakin bahawa Dia tak mungkin menakdirkan yg terburuk bagi sy, RAHMATNYA dimana-mana... sy sudah cukup bahagia..

Tapi tahun ini, sy tak mengharapkan MUMTAZ, (jap lg ada yg bg penampar ni, awal2 dah surrender) Maaf, mama baba.. along silap kali ni.. bnyk sgt defects sejak dari awal tahun lagi.. sy belum masyi dgn teknik belajar utk med school, seumur hidup bergelar pelajar, ni lah kali pertama yg sy tersedar yg sy dah salah teknik..
time management huru hara, life matters tunggang langgang, emotionals control tak tentu arah..
teknik study ikut mood, while others are so well-composed... handling life as med students professionally.. sy pulak hanyut dlm nil..

pelajar medic adalah pelajar medic.. no such things as budak medic yg sempoi2.. x study 24 jam pon boleh skor.. sy rs sy tidur dah normal, tahap org sebaya sy lah tidur, tapi budak medic tidur pukul 10 bgn pukul 3, no afternoon naps, qailulah je.. lepas subuh -> buku, lepas zohor ->buku, lepas asar-> buku, lepas magrib -> buku, lepas isya' ->tidur (nak kate tidur mcm x betul, lelap je kot) lepas qiam-> buku...
buku
buku
buku

so sy kena ubah strategi.. tp tahun ni dah terlambat.. dah final baru tersedar, buang masa setahun tergapai2 dalam laut medic yg bergelora.. padan muka.. time preparation melagho je keje~ 3 bulan holiday mode x abes2.. tahun ni saya bajet paling tinggi..JAYYID JIDDAN, dapat JAYYID pon sy amat bersyukur.. dgn teknik ala2 budak kelas masakan study ni.. jayyid tu dah kuwais awwiy dah kot... tapi tahun depan, ma, ba.. along janji! along tukar status dah..

"saya pelajar perubatan"

Kalau Akmal pakai teknik chess (ceeh.. rilek je ek..) sy pulak nk pakai teknik marathon.. xde jog2 dah.. pecut tak kira lung vital capacity dah.. biar collapse.. either you make it, or die trying!

let's warm up!

1> physiology= total 3 textbooks i.e 189 essay questions

2> histology= total 1 textbook (fortunately~) 150 essay questions

3> anatomy= total 5 textbooks (dijangka pengsan kejap time ni) 300 essay questions

4> biochemistry = 1 textbook, 120 essay questions.. enumerate question hafal sebuku~.. take care!

(p/s= dijangka x dpt fulfilled semua essay questions.. tp try sebanyak mampu...)

aku tak akan bersedih atas perkara yg ak tak mampu lakukan, tapi ak akan sedih andai ak tak lakukan apa yg ak mampu utk diriku

-syaimaahmad-

rindu.... kot~

bosan.peninpale baca anat bertimbun-timbun. Dahla xleh fokus.. td tgk miss list org... bapak laa aii.. sy pon rindu sume itu juge.. wahaha.. rasa mcm diignored kot.. kautsar sebuk final exam dy.. hani selalu gak on9 lately.. tp jrg nk tego dy.. takut beliau mahu study.. hey kamu kamu,
----->>> i mish you soooo much ler~

kiri kanan org study.. sy pula berlalalala diym.. mencaricari org yg mahu melayan sy berlalalala...nmpknya kosong juge. dilayan merepek.. x dilayan juge merepek. "xde org syg, xde org care.."(ok, anah and ume you can stop laughing now!) aduih... final exam makes me crappy.

handphone sudah 2 hari tidak caj.. kredit ade tamam L.E 10.. dasat x? bukan jimat lol.. mmg tak berguna handset itu.. balik malaysia mahu tibai kredit banyakbanyak. gayut? huih xsiqohxsiqoh
ntahla tak tahu lah mahu wat ape.. berkhidmat utk celcom la plk en.. etisalat seryes x best..hehe
tapi sy ketagih iphone.. yuuu~ best gile.. tpi 3 ribu tuh.. haish.. option lain? nokia 5800.. xpress music and touch screen.. crave crave! ....

*beli utk diri sendiri sempena besday bleh? pap! tamparan utk diri juga! blaja la weyh.. final


tut..tut..tut... talian ditamatkan...
inilah hasil akibat brain congestion due to reading anatomy failure...
apoptosis of brain cell

I'm a May

MEI

* Keras hati & tegas.

sifat pemimpin kot..

* Kuat semangat & bermotivasi tinggi.

pelajar berjaya.. 9 bulan dimesir and still standing.. tak cukup kuatkah?

* Pemikiran yang tajam.

mcm Muhd ckp ade ke otak mude tumpul??

* Mudah marah apabila tidak dikawal.

agak emo.. dh kira bagus dh mengaku ni~ tp mudah sejuk..

* Pandai menarik hati & perhatian orang lain .

erk?? iyakah.. sayay lihat mereka menarik muka apabila saya bersama mereka..

* Perasaan yang amat mendalam.

only when i read twilight~

* Cantik dari segi mental & fizikal.

naaah~ *blushing*

* Tidak perlu dimotivasikan.

kdg2 down giler jgk.. and need my very own motivator

* Tetap pendirian, tetapi mudah dipengaruhi oleh orang lain.

org yg tulis ni lagi tak tetap pendirian.. ape daa dh tetap, dipengaruhi??? what the??

* Mudah dipujuk.

true.. a scoop of baskin robin icecream wud be sufficient!

* Bersikap sistematik (otak kiri).

time tables tunggang langgang juge

* Suka berangan.

main reason i never finish reading anatomy!

* Kuat daya firasat memahami apa yang terlintas di hati orang lain tanpa diberitahu.

always got to trouble because of this.. mis interpretation

* Pandai berdebat.

debater for 2 years.. then kena buang.. not-so-pandai i guess~

* Kelemahan sistem pernafasan.

asthma recovered.no doubt

* Suka sastera, seni & muzik serta melancong.

seni?ok!muzik?ok!sastera?? erkk..

* Tidak berapa suka duduk di rumah.

saya suka duduk hospital.

* Tidak boleh duduk diam.

dihospital, tempat paling saya suka ialah ER.. mmg tak duduk diam

* Tidak punya ramai anak.

sadis! was planning to have the whole team :P

* Rajin dan bersemangat tinggi.

this characteristic (unfortunately) was buried deep deep deep within.. tak terselam

* Agak boros

while this one floats on the surface..

huhuh.. dh nk masuk 19 rupenye..

kaca dan kristal

org kata impian dan harapan itu mcm kristal or kaca.. cantik.. tp fragile.. kadang- kadang tak tahu lah kenapa.. kita masih ada kekuatan nk menyimpan harapan.. setiap kali jgk.. impian yg sungguh mustahil akan jatuh kemudian berderai mcm kaca2 dan kristal tu.. dan kita jgk masih membina harapan baru.. walaupun dgn kaca dan kristal yg dh pecah tu..

Baba ckp, sy selalu meletak harapan yg sangat tinggi.. kemudian bila x mampu dicapai.. jd lemah semangat.. mungkin jgk.. whoever said "shoot to the moon, if you fall, you'll land on stars" need to rephrase it..

...dgn mengingati Allah, jiwa kan menjadi tenang.....

Org yg bersyukur pasti akan jadi manusia yg paling bahagia dalam dunia ni.. kalaupun kita tak dapat semua yg kita nak.. tp Allah dh bagi sesuatu.. kalau pun tak dapat apapa.. mungkin tu ujian utk kita.. bukankah setiap doa kita yg tak termakbul ada balasan nya?

cuba menjadi manusia bersyukur sambil mengelak utk terluka dgn harapan sendiri lagi~