happy 090909 everyone!

I've been gone like 2 days... anddd omg! my emails flooded with FB notifications.. nothing much, but just a bunch of sickkkk people love to play tag, run, n flood everybody's emails with junk!





*harsh*






I dunno why.. but I'm kind of fancy today's 090909 date.. it;s like a perfect series of number to remark something isn't it? well like, nk nikad time 010101 la, 020202 la.. or wat eva..



and despite to series of things that made me cranky all week long, I set an alarm on my phone.. 9th september 2009.. [something great is going to happen! be strong cemak~]



maybe i sound superstitious.. but we can have some space for dreams aren't we?


and lucky me me.. just a few minutes in 090909.. and i'm smiling again..
i'm no longer 'sick', my headache is gone, the cave sessions ended *grin*, well.. a perfect day to celebrate!

me: omg! i miss that
M.L: miss what?
me: that phrase u always mention
M.L: does that mean u miss me?
me: bwekk.. get a clue!

do i miss you? gawdddd.. i miss you too much! :X

lovesickness

Things had been getting out of hands this past two days. Nothing works out for me. I fell sick i mean like-sickening -SICK~ oh. well i must say my sleep schedule went haywire again. I woke up at 3 am morning feeling extremely dizzy and nauseous. I threw up at 10 after struggling to force myself back to bed. I dunno, something has been bothering me. But I can't tell what it is.

I talked to someone this morning, and again.. i found the conversation not very comforting. I got sick thinking on how men and women are weirdly different. And how their act to problems are also different, but yet we found ourselves, sticking and finding soulmate for ourselves. It's like two different poles attracting each other. I've been reading Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus only to find myself in greater confusion.

We want comfort and you want to pull away from us? and how would that work in a real-life relationship? I could only see myself in misery if I would have an uncaring husband who only think about how to make himself happy instead of saving the marriage.

One of my male collegue said to me.. " we guys, will just leave our partner [girl] for quite sometime, let her cry missing us. Then we go back to her." And he call that sweet. Oh well, i got nothing against this unique male policy. But surely no girl would want to handle that. It sounds pretty mean to me. I dunno. But I will totally respect that.

If that is what he wants, then i'm totally okay with it. But please dear, don't blame me if I wouldn't be seeking for you. I'm just giving you some space to breath. I understand how this space is important for you. So don't take me for granted just because of that.

oh.. i'm totally done with all these mushy stuff.

EmOtIOnAL~

emotional failure. I guess by now, i'm kind of lost. it's like you chasing me away. But i'm not going to assume anything. I'm waiting for you to speak out. I told you before. In fact, many times before. when we're done. then we're done forever. in a good way. we don't need the painful awkward break up session. No need of hurting each other. put a fullstop. and go.

but i'm still waiting

a confession

everything started out easy and happy
but it's getting weird and hard
so weird, that i couldn't picture of what's next
so hard, that i can't think of a perfect ending to this

i miss you
i miss the laughter of stupid jokes that we shared
i miss the i-would-not-mind- waiting- you- to-finish- your- work
and i miss everything about not knowing your thoughts

the not talking but always know the right message
it works like magic

i love the way you work hard for your future
the forever great news you told me
about you
about the life you lead

i couldn't be happy more
and i would always be happy for you

but now i'm not sure what happening between us
remember that i told you that i will always be there for you?

i'm sorry
i'm not chasing you away from me
you don't know how it rages inside me
to see you that far
and not being able to be at times of need

i can't afford the pain anymore
i am not willing to sacrifice this friendship for what i feel.
what will be will be
only God knows that

all i know is i need to be apart from you
cause what hurt the most is being so close
but yet too far away.

i'll miss you forever, friend~

bags in need!

I totally need bags. peh... ayat shopaholic sggh! but my purse is so desperate. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghh..

okayy.. the reason i need big bags is so that i can stuff all my things books, pencil case, purse, keys, evrything! to college. I don't really have a proper bag for going to class purposes. Well, in Egypt.. it is so pricey for a branded bag, and those Sayyeda streets' bags can only hold together for about a week! such a waste! seminggu satu bag, wah macam promo iklan~

anywayss, I've been looking online for a perfect bag, and then... WALLaah~!

esprit sling bag! big, sporty and RED.. totally fab.. i dunno why i found red is quite a charm to my eyes these days. Yikess.. so shantekkk.. btw i found this in Esprit.co.UK... UK guys~ i wonder if it's available here. i'm really itching for one...

hot nyer~

this one is also esprit's, leather.. so i bet it's easy to be cleaned.. well u noe, egypt is a wonderland of dust! not as chic as the above, but this one look more..... uhmmm, i dunno, durable?

or maybe i should get this in brown?

this colour looks more egypt ish style.. padang pasir, indiana jones, traveller,piramid, got the picture?

good!

now, how do i get rm500 in a week? any ideas?

*p/s: i noe mom would approve this, she is btw, suggesting me to buy a branded bag right away before i fly last year, so that i would not end up buying new cikai bags monthly or in my case weekly, one good bag is all i need.