My Name Is Syaimaa'

Weird isn't it? what's with the topic? Actually you all might know me..but I believe no one ever know the real me..except for my close friends,those who always hang out with me and family, no one really know who is the real Syaimaa Bt Ahmad...



I am an open book, I can be read but the language is hard to be understood..

Someone said I am rebellious..I never object it..it is true anyway...I can still remember my primary school teacher used to call me Grumpy..it's because I always make storm in a tea cup~ eventhough the matter was rather small and petty but I always make a lot of noise out of it....I make a lot of friends but at the same time hurt them a lot too with my words (sorry friends) I can't help it..my attitude sometimes make people hate me..well I don't force them to like me anyway..



Actually I wasn't born with it...I became the grumpy kid when I was in kindergarden..back then I was the kind of sweet and demure little girl..but I was the smallest in my class (i'm like Shasha, nuha's niece) very small sometime no one notice that I'm even there! my presence was not making any different, if I'm not there nobody would notice Im gone! so I developed a skill..a kind of survival skill...I became very active in class..talkative..and always involve in fights...My teachers often get headaches just because of me...well that attitude remains until, I moved to Kisas in Form 4..however... still, I am a rebellious syaimaa but I manage to keep it inside until...form 5, there was an incident just a fews weeks before I move out for good from Kisas..no need to tell what is the incident...It really broke my heart and I realise that my attitude is actually beneficial too....

I can't stand seeing injustice in play...and I believe that we must respect others and must not cross the line, we must be just and fair to others, then only people will hold respect to you... I never asked to be respected because I know I don't deserve it...because sometimes I forgot to respect others too!

Sometime my 'badside' of me really give me luck..I was selected to represent my state for debate just because I always speak out 'loud' but it's not a good thing either because I tend to lose to my emotions and let it get control of me...

I'm just being me, eventhough some people dislike it but I'm not going to pretend to be someone I'm not! I'm trying...to control my emotions and let it go wisely..even when I'm trying to stand for justice, I;m learning to make it with wisdom..however it takes a lot of patience and time...I'm trying here...to be a better me~